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Funny Baseball Quotes


It’s a funny little game, baseball. You’ve probably heard that said before. There have also been plenty of funny things said about America’s pastime. Below we have compiled a list of twenty-six funny baseball quotes in no particular order. Why twenty-six? Well, it’s kind of funny number for a list.

1. You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth. — Mickey Mantle

2. I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain’t never been seen by this generation. — Satchel Paige

3. Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn’t score any runs. — Tim McCarver

4. Ninety percent of this game is half mental. — Yogi Berra


5. The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. — Yogi Berra

6. Third ain’t so bad if nothin’ is hit to you. — Yogi Berra

7. Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time? — Yogi Berra

8. Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. — Yogi Berra

9. So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face. — Yogi Berra


10. Well, it took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. — Hank Aaron

11. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base. — Dave Barry

12. The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to get a tan. — Whitey Ford

13. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off. — Bill Veeck

14. If a horse won’t eat it, I don’t want to play on it. — Dick Allen, discussing artificial turf

15. We know we’re better than this, but we can’t prove it. — Tony Gwynn

16. I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn’t get there as fast. — Eddie Bane


17. I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar. — Bob Lemon

18. After Jackie Robinson, the most important black in baseball history is Reggie Jackson. — Reggie Jackson

19. Alan Sutton Sothoron pitched his initials off today. — Anonymous, St. Louis newspaper

20. There ain’t much to being a ballplayer, if you’re a ballplayer. — Honus Wagner

21. Us ballplayers do things backward. First we play, then we retire and go to work. — Charlie Gehringer

22. The funny thing about these uniforms is that you hang them in the closet and they get smaller and smaller. — Curt Flood

23. There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works. — Charlie Lau

24. A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I’d rather walk with the bases loaded. — Ken Singleton

25. If you don’t succeed at first, try pitching. — Jack Harshman

26. The Hall of Fame is for baseball people. Heaven is for good people. — Jim Dwyer


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